Love being a Mommy

Lately I have been thinking how sad it is that I will never again be pregnant. I decided that I would not be pregnant in my 40s so I am in fact done. As I hold my 4 month old and look into her big grey eyes I think about how she will be the last one and how I have to embrace each and every moment as crazy as it is. Her colic and reflux leave me feeling exhausted most of the time. She screams like a banshee about 8 hours of the day, I spend 10 hours holding her which seems to be the only thing that makes her somewhat happy. Then there is the toddler who cracks me up on a daily basis. I love his sense of humor, his energy, his early language skills, his dances, his singing and even his tantrums. I am enjoying every moment with each one of them knowing how fast life goes by. I drop everything to pay attention to either one of them when they need it because I know there will be a time when they won't need me as much as they do now. That knowledge is something that gets me through even my worse days.

As I check on my sleeping toddler, my heart swells with the love I feel for him. His face is at total peace, his little arm over his head, the other lying across his chest holding his favorite blue blanky. My daughter lies across my lap leaning against my laptop, I stoke her little cheek and she smiles in her sleep. Her little mohawk and rose bud lips make me smile. Her peaceful breathing is in sync with mine. As I look into her beautiful little face all I can think about is how utterly lucky I am to have experienced every little moment I have with my babies. I am lucky to be their mommy and you know what? They are lucky to have me too!