I am from....

While reading blogs yesterday I found this really fun exercise. If you have a chance to do it let me know. It was fun to remember some things I had forgotten.

I am from...

I am from family outings that lasted from morning to night; beginning with bacon and eggs over the BBQ to smores at dusk. Swimming and laughing with friends and playing all day with my sisters.

I am from paper dolls cut from the Montgomery Ward and Sears catalog hoping that I got first dibs before my sister’s took the best pictures.

I am from dancing in front of my mirror with a hair brush to the tunes of my youth.

I am from playing in the raked leaves, climbing up the tall trees, swimming in the creek, dancing in the streets, struggling in the heat and marching to my own beat.











I am from posters on my wall, stuffed animals on my bed, and dear diary sessions that last for hours.

I am from egg creams made with love and letter shaped pancakes for birthdays.

I am from lying in the dandelions and watching the clouds roll by after spinning too long at the playground.

I am from dogs and cats, puppies and kittens that were always being born but never stuck around long.

I am from Sunday dresses, white gloves, lacy headscarves and tiny handbags with silver clasps while I tried not to swing my legs and hit the pews in front me while listening to the guitars during folk mass.















I am from catching frogs, fireflies, butterflies, ladybugs and salamanders and holding them for hours before letting them go.

I am from scraped knees, bug bites, and sunburn

I am from skipping stones, jumping rope, relay races and playing man hunt.

I am from Kool-Aid pops, jiffy pop, peanut butter and banana sandwiches on wonder bread, big glasses of milk and homemade donuts








I am from Pufnstuf, Magic Garden, Brady Bunch, The Munsters, Gilligan’s Island, Little House on the Prairie and Shirley Temple Theatre on Sundays.















I am from Holly Hobbie, Pippi Longstocking, Chinese Checkers, and Twister















I am from ponchos, gauchos, prairie skirts, and plaid pants.

I am from Brownies, Girl Scouts, sleepovers and note passing.


















I am from sickness, sorrow and secrets

I am from loneliness, lies and tears

I am from hope and healing

I am from here and I am from there

I am from her and I am from him

I am from me

True Love -- I wonder how long it will last

Just because they are so damn cute
I love how she is looking at him














He noticed and repaid her with a great big brother hug

Dead Pickle Walking

Simon apologized to Katherine. He stated that after re-watching her again, he thought that it was a great performance.

Ryan had the Idols form three groups: Kat and Chris, Taylor and Elliott and Kelli and Paris. Then he told everyone that the groups were your top, your middle and your bottom two.

I was praying that Kat and Chris were the top 2.

Elliott and Taylor were told to take a seat.

Chris and Katherine were informed that they had the most amount of votes last night.

I am so friggin happy! You would think I gave birth to them myself.

Paris and Kelli are left standing on the stage.

Please let it be Kelli, please let it be Kelli!

Yes! It's Kelli...sorry Kelli. I am sure we will see your sorry ass somewhere. I mean..good night and good luck. Practice the Star Spangel Banner because I am sure some team will want you singing at their next game.

AI's Top 6 sing about romance

Tonight American Idol is all about Romance. Andrea Borcelli worked with the Idols this week to perfect their singing styles on song choice. I am a mother first and an idol fan second so I didn't get to watch AI until Kelli sang.

Katherine sang "I have nothing". From my son's bedroom she sounded ok but her voice sounded stained like it was hard for her to sing. Randy mentioned something about it being Whitney's song but we all know where Whitney is in her career now and I don't think Katherine deserves to be compared to that!

Elliott sang "A song for you" I love this song! He did a friggin awesome job. The judges especially Randy and Simon loved it! Simon told him that his song was a master class.

Kelli sang "Unchained Melody" I still don't know why she is still here. She had pitch problems all over the place. She looks and sounds like a robot. It was the longest song in history. The judges basically told her that she had pitch problems and chose the wrong song

Paris sang "The Way we Were" it was ok. Paris has a great voice but for some reason she annoys me. Paula told her that she oversang it. I don't think she over sang but it wasn't her best.

Taylor sang "I did my bes.t" I thought he just did ok. It wasn't his best! The judges didn't like it either. I love Taylor no matter what but I missed his dancing.

Chris sang "Have you ever really ever loved a women." I loved the Spanish style guitar and I still hear LIVE. Love Chris!!! He sounds awesome no matter what he sings. Simon loved it! Paula got stupid. I actually get embarressed for her sometimes. Randy loved it!

My choice for the bottom three
Kelli, Paris, Taylor

To go home Kelli

Yes or No Survey

There are only three rules to this game and you MUST follow them.
1. You can only say YES or NO!
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks! (Oh this is hard for me. I have a need to explain.)
3. If you read this, you have been tagged. Let me know if you do your own survey on your blog.





Taken a picture naked? --> Yes
Danced in front of your mirror naked? --> yes
Told a lie? --> yes
Had a one night stand? --> yes
Been in a fist fight? --> no
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? --> no
Been arrested? --> no
Fooled around in your parents house? --> no
Ditched school to have sex? --> no
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? --> yes
Seen someone die? --> no
Kissed a picture? --> yes
Slept in until 3? --> no
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? --> yes
Played dress up? --> yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? -->yes
Touched a snake? --> yes
Ran a red light? --> no
Had detention? --> no
Been in a car accident? --> yes
Pole danced? --> yes
Been lost? --> yes S
Sang karaoke? --> yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --> yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --> no
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --> yes
Kissed in the rain? -->yes
Sang in the shower? --> yes
Gave your private parts a nickname? --> no
Ever gone to school without underwear? --> no
Sat on a roof top? --> yes
Played chicken? --> no
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? --> yes
Broken a bone? --> no
Mooned/flashed someone? --> yes
Had sex with your socks on? --> yes
Slept naked? --> yes
Blacked out from drinking? --> no
Played a prank on someone? --> yes
Felt like killing someone? --> no
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --> yes
Cried over someone? --> yes
Had sex more than 10 times in one day? --> no
Had/Have a dog? --> yes
Been in a band or played an instrument? --> yes
Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol ? --> yes
Shot a gun? --> yes
at someone? -->no
Played strip poker? --> yes

A Little Late for Easter but...

Picture blog entry
I never got around to posting my Easter pics

This Easter thing is a little overwhelming
















Skye's Very first Easter basket































My little girl and my man




















Me and my little girl














God forbid my handsome boy could slow down for a picture





















My little guy and his cousin

AI Top 7 sing the songs of Rod Stewart

I didn't get to take notes tonight (daughter wasn't sleeping and son was active).
Here is a run down of who sang what..

Chris Daughtry: Louis Armstrong What A Wonderfull World
Paris Bennett: Nat King Cole These Foolish Things (Remind Me Of You)
Taylor Hicks: Sam Cooke You Send Me
Elliott Yamin: Michael Buble It Had To Be You
Kellie Pickler: Ella Fitzgerald Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered
Ace Young: Nat King Cole That's All
Katharine McPhee: Ella Fitzgerald Someone to Watch over Me

The judges loved (including Simon) all of them except Kellie. She was a bit pitchy and in her words "butchered it"

If I was voting...Katherine McPhee
My choice to leave tomorrow....Kellie (oh please let her go America!)

Happy First Birthday Baby Girl

Dear Skye Angelique,

You are one today. I can't believe how quick this year has gone. When I found out I was pregnant with you I was so sure you were a boy. I had wanted a baby girl all my life. Because I wanted you so bad I was sure that I was destined to have boys only. I was ready and happy to be having another boy because of my unbelievable love for your brother.






When the sonogram tech told me that you were a girl I started crying. I couldn't believe it, I was going to get my baby girl! I remember telling her that I knew there was a God because I had always said, "if there's a God, he will give me a girl." The sonogram tech said, "yes there is a God and SHE gave you a girl."

After your Grandmother passed I wanted to share a Mother/Daughter relationship with my own. I used to hate Mother's Day because my mother wasn't here. Now I LOVE Mother's Day!

You and your brother have made me so very happy. I love being a Mommy to the both of you.

Skye, you are everything that God intended for me. You are beautiful, feisty, sweet, funny and I adore you. Your presence in my life is truly God sent. I can't wait to see what you become. I wish you happiness, laughter, love, friendship, and spirituality. I hope you drink your fill from the cup of life. I hope you soar, dream, learn, sing, dance, notice the little things but most of all please always know how much I love you. You are my heart on legs, a special flower from heaven hand picked just for me. You are truly the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen.

Ten things I love about you

• Your little fingers wrapped around my hand as I nurse you or put you to sleep.
• Your rosy little cheeks when you get mad because your brother snatched something from your hand.
• The way you need me.
• The way you wrinkle your nose when you smile.
• How you are so interested in your hand when you notice your fingers moving.
• How you study my face when I sing to you.
• Holding you as you slowly fall asleep. Your warm little body nestled in my arms.
• Your feisty spirit. You are a going to be a women who knows what she wants.
• Your adorable laugh when you look at your brother or when I run holding you. It is infectious.
• Your smell. I love smelling you from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You smell like heaven and I wish I could bottle it to wear behind my ear every single day of my life.
• 
  
• 
  

Your many nicknames over the last year

• Angel
• Skye-Skye
• Baby Girl
• Lady Bug
• Sweetie
• Pumpkin
• PITA (pain in the ass)
• Mama
• A few choice words that I hope never to use again.

You are very special and out of all the little girls in the world how did I get so lucky to get you?
I love you Skye, Mommy

Written for Goddess on April 17th 2005

Goddess,

Good morning baby girl. We are being discharged from the hospital today. You were born 3 days ago on April 14th at 9:52 A.M. Daddy and I arrived at the hospital at 7:35 to be prepped for surgery. I was having contractions during my IV drip so you may have arrived on your own today anyway. Because your brother was breech and required a cesarean the doctors talked me into another cesarean because of my age and the restrictions that were put on me I agreed to go with it. I was dying to just let you come on your own but who knows maybe they know best. Daddy changed into scrubs and I was wheeled into the OR. I received a spinal and waited for Daddy to be allowed into the room. The doctor came in as I was throwing up. I was knocked out with your brother's birth so I had never experienced this before. I threw up the entire time I was in surgery but I couldn't wait for you to be born. Daddy was standing by my head and I kept waiting to fall asleep like I did for Handsome's birth but that never happened. Daddy wanted to give me a play by play of what the doctors were doing but I thought I would be better off not knowing. By what I was feeling below the sheet I could figure out what was happening and knew when I was being cut open and when you were being pulled out.

Daddy told me that they were lifting your head out and I heard them suction you. You started screaming and the doctor held you up for me to see. She took your little arm and waved at me saying, "hi Mommy." I asked Daddy if you were a girl and he said yes.

You had a ton of jet black hair and you looked so small.

The next time I saw you was in recovery. They wheeled me in and Daddy was sitting in a chair next to your bassinet. They brought you to me and I was sick again. I was so sick but was dying to spend time with you. I was amazed that I was awake for your birth and since I didn't get to see any of this with Handsome I wanted to experience all of it.

You looked so perfect and intelligent.

I was moved to my room and Daddy left to go get Handsome so that I could sleep. I slept on and off but my head was swimming with thoughts of you and wanting to see Handsome too.

I heard them wheeling your bassinet into the room and I couldn't wait for them to place you in my arms. You were like a little, perfect, pink angel. My heart loved you already just like it happened with Handsome.

Daddy, Abuela and Handsome came into the room. I handed you to your Abuela and tried to get your brother to come to me. He was afraid because I was lying in a bed with tubes attached to my arms. To be honest I couldn't wait for Abuela to leave so that I could have you all to myself again.

Spending time with you at the hospital has been wonderful. It is like we are in our own little world. I felt the same way with your brother I loved my time at the hospital because it is the only time that it is all about us. Just the two of us. Bonding, laying together and sleeping. I do want to go home because I miss Handsome and really want to start our live together as a family of four. I asked to leave a day earlier than the hospital wanted, we were both doing well so they are releasing us.

I love you baby girl. I waited a very long time for you. You are my little angel and you and your brother are helping me heal old wounds from a time long ago.

I promise to always love you, take care of you sweet girl.

Love, Mommy

More to come....

Dead Idol Walking - Bye Bye Bucky

Taylor, Katherine and Chris are all safe. I don't care what happens from here actually since my 3 faves are not in the bottom 3.

Returning from break Goddamn Kelli is safe. Another week of her ramblings.

Elliott makes the bottom 3 after we hear really lovely things from his mom.

Ryan has Elliott sing. No warm-up, no idea what to sing..Ryan tells him to follow the band and Elliott nails the song he sang last night.

Ace and Bucky also make the bottom 3.

Bucky is told that he has the least amount of votes and credits role....
yada yada yada.

I knew it!!

AI Top 8 Sing the Songs of Queen

This was the first show that I must admit I was not that excited about. I mean really there are tons cooler bands but ahhh...ok.

Bucky sang Fat Bottom Girls. He started pretty strong. I actually liked it but I like redneck party music and hell ok I'll say it; I'm a friggin Fat Bottom Girl!

Randy - Nice way to start. I feel like I am at a Bucky concert.
Paula - It was great.
Simon - Good choice for you I guess. Overall it was quite mediocre.
Ace sang We will Rock You. Ace started out by saying something about how he wanted it not to sound like "Ace doing Queen" First I hate people who talk about themselves in the third person and second Ace saying something about DOING Queen is just funny. Without looking Ace sounds just ok. Watching he is friggin Jon Bon Jovi (insert your own singer here).
Randy - That was just a 5 or a 6. It was alright.
Paula - I like how you paid tribute
Simon - I think it was a complete, utter mess. It didn't work. It was we will rock you gently. I really, really hated it.
Kelli sang Bohemian Rhapsody. Yucky beginning. I really wanted her to rock it out. When she finally did it was ok. I thought she tried to hard to do the Rocker Chick thing.
Randy - I was entertained
Paula - It was ambitious
Simon - You are a brave girl. It was Night of the Living Dead. I think it worked. You did good.
Chris sang some song that Queen never performed lived. He of course rocked. Baby! Baby! Lose the eye make-up. Freddie needed it, you do not. I thought he did a great job.
Randy - I was expecting great things. You delivered.
Paula - That last note
Simon - Not a great song. The best vocal so far. A bit indulgent
Katherine sang Who wants to Live Forever. Love the music, love the lights, love her hair, love her voice. Not in that order. It sounded like "Katherine's song." She owned it!!
Randy - It was very good to hear. A bit pitchy! Big Voice
Paula - You handled it. That is a song for a big voice like Celine or Barbara Streisand and you handled it.
Simon - That was almost "the moment." Strongest tonight.
Elliott - Sang Somebody to Love. It was just ok to me. I thought he started weak but found his way getting by making it all bluesy! He ended well.
Randy - There was some pitch problems but it was really good
Paula - Best vocal tonight
Simon - You chose the tough one, but overall you pulled it off.
Taylor sang Crazy Little thing Called Love. Yeah Taylor! Love the spastic dancing! Love him, love him, love him. His enthusiasm is infectious.
Randy - The last few weeks I have been wondering where is Taylor? He's back baby. That was hot!
Paula - I don't know if we should give you a record deal or a strait jacket.
Simon - I thought it was a bit ridiculous. Are you drunk?
Paris sang The Show must Go On. She did a kick ass job. She looked hot and her voice was strong. Hot performance.
Randy - You worked it out
Paula - You are THE POWERHOUSE
Simon - A little weird
If I was voting my vote would go to Katherine. My pick for the bottom three are..
Bucky, Ace and Kelli
My choice to leave - Bucky

A Tribute to two important women in my life

Today is April 8th. April 8th is the same and different for me every year. Sometimes it is just a normal melancholy day and other times it is 1978 or oddly enough 1991. You see, today my mother is dead 28 years and my grandmother (father's mother) 15 years. If that is not strange enough; my mother and my grandmother not only share a death date but..they share a birth date. Double whammy. Mom died when I was 11 It was scary, hard, lonely, weird, and sad. I think about everything I went through as a 11year old with a dying mother and feel so bad for my 11year old self. I wish I could just hold my little 11year old self and tell her that everything is going to be OK.

I wish I knew more about my Mom. I am constantly making sure that I leave my little ones a legacy. I want them to know who I am. I spent so many years trying to gather information on my mom. I wanted to speak to people who knew her. Not as a daughter, a sister, a wife but as a women. I would give anything to sit and talk with Diane the women, not my mother! I would also love to know what she thinks of who I am now! Is she proud of who I have become? Does she think I am a good mom? A good person? A good women! It is so weird to think that this year I will be turning 40 in August. My mother never reached 34. I will forever be older than my mother. I cannot imagine what it would have been like to have three daughters, an 11 year old, a 10 year old and an 8 year old and then be told that you are terminally ill and would leave them.

After mom died we eventually moved in with my Grandmother. Grandma was a frail, scared women. She was caring and funny but so scared of everything. She had bulimia her whole life and I believe that she knew that my grandfather was molesting me. I remember her walking in one time and walking right back out. I don't hold it against her I think that she was to scared to do anything about it. She took in me and my two sisters and did the best that she could. When I was told that she was gone I remember sinking to the floor and crying my eyes out. Why! Two important women in my life gone forever.

I hope that I have done them both proud. I hope they knew that I think of them everyday and that I am so sad that my babies will never get to know them. I wish I could call my mother whenever Handsome does something cute or call her and say I need a break could you please come hold Goddess for a while she is driving me crazy. (BTW here she comes now crying at my feet - God help me).

Mommy and Grandma you are the spirit in me! I love and miss you!

Update on Handsome

So the kid that is in speech therapy and special instruction according to an evaluation by professionals is currently...

Well wait..let me catch you up...

Handsome will be 3 in May and last summer while talking to some people; they told me (because they know everything) that I should have him evaluated because there were some things that should be "red flags" to me that could indicate a potential learning disability. I thought they were no-it-all kooks and went home. After sitting on it for a day I thought that perhaps these well-meaning folks were onto something. Maybe as his mom I wasn't seeing any problems because to me he is absolutely perfect. But...what if I ended up being a reason that Handsome didn't live up to his full potential. I decided to have him evaluation against my better judgement.

So three strangers come to my home last June and try to get Handsome to do tricks for them. He knew his alphabet, knew his body parts, knew his shapes and colors but refused to perform with these strangers. I was told upon a 20 minute evaluation that he would be eligible for speech and special instruction. We started Special Instruction with a women who basically didn't know what to do with Handsome and would come and talk to me most of the time.

Just as I was about to swap out she actually pulled herself out and gave me someone in her place. I adore the person who does Special Instruction with my son. It is a glorified 45 minute playdate but he and I really look forward to it.

Handsome's speech instruction started last October and really knows what Handsome likes and doesn't like. I have seen his speech progress over the last few months but I cannot contribute this to his speech therapist. I think he would have been doing this anyway.

Before these sessions began Handsome knew all his letter, his shapes, and his colors with words and jargon here and there. Like he could not say milk it was "ilk" but hey most kids have some pronouncation problems when they are hello like 2 years old. Give me a break..

He was re-evaluation by the Board of Education because upon turning 3 he would be considered a pre-schooler and would not be eligible for Early Intervention past August 31st of this year. I sat with 11 strangers two weeks ago who by looking at a 30 page report (information gathered from 20 minute interviews with some more strangers at an evaluation facility) on Handsome were about to tell me what he would benefit from. The night before the meeting I sat down with the report and made notes in the margin where there was a change, a discrepancy or where I felt something was taken out of context.

I walked into the meeting said "hello" and before taking my coat off handed the group 8 pictures of my son taken this month. I told them "This is my son, you can pass the pictures around. You only know him from this report and I want you to see the person you are about to talk about." They were pleasant and told me that they wished more parents brought pictures.

After listening to them discuss my son, and that they thought he would benefit from 5 days a week at a facility and 3 hours a day with speech, special instruction and occupational therapy. They mentioned a school bus that would pick up my son and bring him home afterwards. I had done my homework and knew all about the program and the bus.

I told them that I was not ready to place Handsome in a program yet and that I would definitely not be putting him on a bus to go 45 minutes from home. They talked about the safety of the bus and the program. I told them that I had all the information I needed at this time but that as my son's only advocate in the meeting, I would like the extension that would take his current services to August 31st and then I would consider the program after that time. I told them that since the report was written 2 months prior there were so many changes and went over a few with them. I also discussed some things that I thought were out of context or discrepancies (and there were quite a few).

Basically the way it was left was that we would keep the current services Handsome receives until August 31st. After that I will either end services or meet with the group again to discuss what I want for him. Basically I think that none of this can hurt him but I will not be putting him on a bus, or into a 5 day program. He is only going to be 3 and God damn it he is doing wonderful and a full day of school will be starting soon enough.

So the kid who according to the Board of Education needs services currently..
Knows his alphabet on sight, knows his shapes, knows his colors, says about 350 words (some more clearly than others but this gets better everyday). He says "please" when he wants something, "thank you" when he is given something and bless you when someone sneezes. He says "I love you" and "a hug" when he wants a hug.

He also spells:
Blue, X-ray, Read, Book and Home on his own. He draws lines, circles and faces. Ok the faces are cyclops but really the only thing missing is the other eye. Hell they even have hair and a hat!

He is not an angel, he has some occassional tantrums like most kids his age but I think he is perfect just the way he is..

I can't wait until August when I can go back to the BOE and tell them that I have decided against continuing his services. I can hope!

For Baby Faith

Here is video of Jesse watching Faith.

Enjoy by clicking here

Pics of my Babies because I have no time to write

Brrr....I love little lacy bonnets. I bet she will be a hardcore biker chick!

















X, X, X, X, X, Yes Rainman, that's an X

















Enjoying Blue's Clues
















The kids enjoy our new "eat-in" kitchen














Super Star















So busy...Jesse and his Wiggles audience














Jesse and his favorite things in the whole world...the WIGGLES!














Hi, I have two teeth!















Mr. Poser!



















Braving the Chilly March weather
















Just because she is so cute!