Manic Monday - WANT

Who doesn’t want something? We all go through life wanting something but feel guilty if we want something for ourselves.

Watching Oprah’s Big Tonight where you are able to give to someone else who Wants something is exactly what I am talking about.

I was raised in a Catholic household were you were taught to give to others even if you had nothing. I remember my parents who couldn’t scrape 2 pennies together getting a bonus or their overtime check and buying for neighbors who were in dire straits. Sometimes I was so jealous watching them load up the bags to be delivered to the other homes. Candy, cookies, chips, soda, on top of the obvious food that you need for a family to survive. The reason I mention the cookies, candy and other things is because WE never had any of that stuff. Sugar cereal was also not something we had but these kids in the other house were going to get it! We got the boring, generic cereal without the colorful fun box let alone a possible toy inside.

I wanted what my parents were putting in their bags.

I understood what my parents were doing and took a lot of that charity work into my life while growing up. Working Covenant House hot lines, volunteering at the local hospital in the ER, working Hospice, and running my own little soup kitchen on my ride home through the subways when I worked in the city all after my regular work hours. I loved it and eventually will get back to it when my kids are more self sufficient and I have something to give.

Ok, getting back to where I started this post.

I want respect - Respect from my husband, respect from my kids, I want to know that what I say is heard. We all want to be friggin heard damnit.

I want more time to myself while still spending as much time with my kids. Make sense to anyone else?

I want more time to think about my well being. This means I want more time to think about my health; working out, dieting, sleeping (alone), walking in the fresh air, reading, taking a nice long bath without pounding on the door.

I want more money. Who doesn’t want this but damn I am not afraid to say it. I want to put a new roof on the house, get new siding, put new windows in, take up the rugs, refinish or install hard wood floors, get a new bed and put window treatments on all my windows. I want a new bathtub, and toilet. I want a bigger vehicle. I want to get rid of all my unmentionables and buy new ones. I want a new garage door so that it is safer and doesn’t make so much damn noise the million and one times my husband opens it every morning.

I want a new set of attic stairs so that my husband doesn’t have to struggle every single time he takes them down.

I want to put money into retirement funds for myself and my husband, and I want a substantial savings for my children so that they won’t have to spend the first 10 years of their life after school, paying loans before they can get on with their lives.

Number 1 on my list for obvious reasons, I want health insurance for me, my husband and my children.

I feel that most of these things are so material but this is me being honest! I could ask for my kitchen to be redone and and I would love a new bedroom set but those are at the bottom of my want/wish list.

There is nothing wrong with wanting things and it think I should stop beating myself up for wanting more, better, extra.

Life is short and we can dream all we want!