Mommy Blogger who loves to write, talk, take photos, spend time with my family and friends, read, and breathe.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Slice of Life Sunday
This week Slice of Life is asking for 1 of the following themes.
1. A Naughty Moment of My Youth
2. 2 x 4 = 8, the teacher I most appreciate
3. Writer’s Choice - A story about any childhood memory, from earliest to about age 10-11.
This week I am again picking 3.
It is 1977, I am 11 years old and my mother is diagnosed with lung cancer. My parents tell me that my mother has something called tumors on her lungs and they show me the X-ray of where they are. An X-ray. A picture of what looks like nothing is about to change my families life forever. My mother is told that she has 3 months. I am not sure if I am told of the timeline. She lasts 8 months. 8 LOOOOONG months of coughing, comas, cancer, courage, clots, and caring.
I am there when my mother's hair falls out from chemo. I am lying on my belly watching an old Montgomery Ward black and white TV at the foot of her bed. She is sitting up by the pillows. I see her out of the corner of my eye as she pulls hair out of her head. She is holding a few bunches in her hand. She asks me to go downstairs and get her a garbage bag. I head down annoyed that I have to leave the TV.I am not sure what I am watching.
Grabbing a paper bag from Grand Union from under the sink I head back upstairs and hand it to her. We don't say anything. I see her crying in my peripheral vision as she takes hair from head and places it in the bag. I am very aware of what she is doing and I think I sort of know in a way but I am 11 and confused.
It is one of the most profound moments of my life and yet I was like a fly on the wall just watching it, not reacting, not speaking just trying to avoid.
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I don't know what to say Maria - my heart goes out to that 11 year old little girl trying to make sense out of a senseless event in her life. I do understand why you did not react. Sometimes the only thing to do when the world around us is bigger than our understanding is to do nothing. I am very sorry you had to lose your mother at such a young age.
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful blog. I came here following a link from revealedreflections.com
ReplyDeleteI wish the font size is a little bigger.
You were too young to understand and that is probably a good thing for both you and your mother. There is too much pain there for a child to hold it all.
ReplyDeleteMy mother died of cancer when I was three. She left behind a poem with a line that reads, "Who will love my baby?"