Saturday Photo Hunt

I am 4 month pregnant with my son in this picture, smiling and holding my first baby. Her name was Sandi and I had her for 16 years before she got sick and had to be put down. I had her 4 years more than my mom was in my life (she passed when I was 12).

Sandi, got sick in the fall before my son was born. I took her to the vet daily for saline shots but in February, I knew that she had reached the end. The weekend before I took her to the vet on Monday I watched her lie around, not eating, not moving and I thought that she would pass away that weekend she didn't. Monday, I took her to the vet's with my big 7 month belly and asked the vet if there was anything we could do. The vet told me that her body was shutting down and that letting her go would be the best thing I could do for her.

There I stood in the vet's office feeling my son move inside me while I held Sandi and cried as she passed away. It was very quick and painless but the feeling of holding her and begging her to forgive me for giving her the shot that would stop her heart was the most painful thing I had ever done in my life. They let me hold her for 15 minutes and then they came in to take her from me all wrapped in a blanket.

They had me leave out the back door because of my uncontrollable sobs and with the big pregnant belly I must have been quite a sight.

Sandi was very fickle but to me she was extremely loving. I was her person and she adored me. I will never forget how beautiful she was, or how she used to sit under a light bulb. She would look up at it with her pretty paws folded over each other and sit with her eyes closed for hours. I used to call her "the iguana."

I saw her for the first 4 months after she passed away. My mind was so programmed to seeing her that she always seemed to be sitting there. I saw her everywhere. I miss her and think of her often. She was my first baby and I will never love another animal the way I loved her.