Locked Doors Can Cause Tears

I walked into my children's preschool today and overheard one of the teachers telling the other to "let mom (me) know about the bathroom incident."

Expecting that I was going to hear that one of mine (my son) was playing in the sink and got water all over I prepared myself for a discussion with my son.

No!

Today while I was going about my morning with my girlfriend discussing Twilight, books, kids, family, holidays and Maury over eggs, toast and bacon my daughter was locked in the bathroom at school.

She had gone into the bathroom after someone had been in there. They are not allowed to lock the door and Goddess has no idea how to lock or unlock one (we will be working on that this weekend). The teacher tells me that she had gone past there a few times because it seemed as if my daughter was in there for a while. Finally (no one is telling me how long), she heard my daughter crying and tried to open the door and realized it was locked. They got the door opened, got my very upset baby out and had a big discussion with the class about playing with the lock.

The reason this upsets me and maybe I am crazy because kids have to learn that mom can't always be there, is that she was crying and I wasn't there. I know that the teachers don't pick the kids up and console them and it just kills me that she was patted on the head and told it was ok while she cried. Aghgghhhhhh...She is 3 and she is so little that it really breaks my heart that she was scared and I wasn't there.

I told the teacher that I wasn't going to bring it up to her unless she brought it up to me because honestly, she seemed fine when I got there. Neither she nor her brother ran to me telling me any of this. They ran to hug and kiss me hello.

When we got to the library, my son brought it up. "Mom, you know Goddess was scared today? She was afraid of the door!"

I asked her "what happened at school today? Do you want to tell me?" She said, she "I couldn't get out of the bathroom." I asked if she was scared and she said yes.

I asked if she yelled for help and she said No. This was when I decided a conversation about calling for help was necessary. Kids need to know they can call for "HELP!" Sometimes they don't because they are afraid they will be in trouble or because they are embarrassed. I should know, "I never asked for help when my grandfather was molesting me." I was afraid someone would think it was my fault.

I told her that it was important that she yell help as loud as she could the next time she was scared, afraid or in danger.

When we ran into my "breakfast girlfriend" and I told her, she reiterated exactly what I had told my daughter, only with more animation. She pretended to punch and kick an imaginary door while yelling "help."

Hopefully she gets the idea and I will deal with my "mommy guilt" in my own time.