Monday, January 12, 2009

Backtalk is Just Annoying Talk

Lately Handsome has started talking back with more detail. He has been talking back since the Summer. Now, there is a little more to it.

No matter what you say to him he reiterates it back to you.

Me - "Stop jumping on the bed"
Handsome, before - "No, you stop jumping on the bed"
Handsome, now - "You stop jumping. If you don't stop it, I am going to give you a strike and if you don't stop it."

Me - "Don't hit your sister, it's not nice."
Handsome, before - "No you stop hitting her."
Handsome, now - If you don't stop hitting her you are going to get a strike and I will give you time out. Stop it and zip it."

Ok, I don't need an expert to tell me that he is repeating everything I have said in the past when he talked back. What I do need is for him to stop it.

Preschoolers
Common back talk: "No!" and "Why?" (Goddess is totally doing this now.)

How to respond: Model good behavior. Try saying, "Wouldn't it be nice if we didn't have to do things we don't like to do?" Don't yell back and don't be sarcastic. Your response is going to determine what happens next. Parents will never be able to control their children. The only person you can control is yourself. When you model control, you teach kids how to control themselves.

Handsome is obviously past this because well he is not a preschooler. However he doesn't fall into what Family Education says about school age children which is:
School-Age Children
Common back talk: "You don't understand!" and "It's not fair!"
How to respond: Kids this age care more about what their peers think than what you think. They'll try to dangle bait to get you going. Don't bite! You'll lose: School-age kids always need to have the last word. Instead, let the child own the problem and empathize with him. Try saying, "You don't think I know what's going on with you right now and that's frustrating, but you're being disrespectful. Please go to your room until you've calmed down and can talk rationally with me."
Handsome is a totally different child. He falls in between somewhere. 


1 comment:

  1. Found your blog while blog hopping.
    Oh... back talk! My son is doing the ignoring thing right now and it drives me crazy.
    http://elislids.blogspot.com/

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