Blue Monday - Waaayy Back

My Blue Monday this week is a picture of my first painting. Notice the date? 1993. I had taken a painting class on a Tuesday night. It was my first class and I was so excited. I told my boyfriend ("shithead" who put me in therapy)I was leaving   for class and headed out.

I lived with my boyfriend and in the same town as my best buddy (my now husband). Class was only 8-10 minutes away from my house and walked in so excited to be doing something I always wanted to do. When I left class, I was so proud of my painting. Never feeling especially creative and very low on self confidence, it still looked good to me and my self esteem at the moment was soaring.

Driving home I kept thinking how I couldn't wait to show "shithead" or well what the hell, his name was Michael. Why not, I don't owe him the benefit of an alias. I got out of the car with my painting, opened the door and walked to the bedroom. Mike was still awake but was trying to go to sleep because he worked a crazy 11:30-5:00 a.m. thing. Knowing that he was exhausted I said, "Mike!?" He said, "hey honey, how was class?" I told him it was great. "Look what I made." He said, "honey I am sure it is great just put it in the kitchen and I will look at it when I get up later."

Still holding it, I held it higher, still smiling and right in front of eyes, :"Mike just open your eyes and look, let me know what you think."

"Babe, you know I have to wake in a few hours, I will look at it later ok?" Then he gave me an air kiss and I walked deflated, into the living room.

Dejected I sulked for a few minutes, called my buddy who wanted to know how it went, I told him it was fun. He said, "come over for a while, we can hang out side". So I headed out to my buddy's house. Mike was sleeping so I didn't even mention that I was leaving.

I pulled in front of now husband's house, and he was already outside. He walked over to my car and I got out. He was like, "Dude, let me see it!" I took the picture out of the trunk.

He took it from me and "holding it up examining it from every angle said, "You did this? I can't believe it. This looks amazing. Wow, dude you did an awesome job. I am so proud of you."

I felt my crushed self esteem getting bright again.

Years later, when we were talking about possibly moving our friendship into something more, something he had always wanted but never told me until I finally said something; he told me more about that first night of painting.

"You know when you had that painting class? The very first one you took?"

I said, "yes".

"Well, I watched you that night. I stood outside the window and watched you paint that picture."

I was floored and teary. What a sweet thing to do and then never telling me. No fan fare. Just something he wanted to do because he loved me. Just one of the many reasons I married HIM and finally smarted up enough to know that my special "dude" buddy was the one I should stop looking past.