Sunday Stealing: The "What If" Meme

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Oh, let's see probably that disgusting dude who kidnapped Jaycee Dugard.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? I have to say and you are going to hate me for this but I never got the Rolling Stones.


3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I don't condone violence but I want to punch anyone who hurts a child.

4. What is your favorite cheese? Swiss

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make? My sandwich is so simple it is scary. Hellmans mayo, wonder white bread and Oscar Meyer bologna.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Oh damn this is so hard easy; it would be Robert Pattinson. Duh! My second choice; Gerard Butler. I am such a slut, the list could go on and on but I will stop now.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick? Josh Groban you know he just has to be a freak in bed.

8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? I am going to use it to for my doctor appointment so I can check for sexually transmitted diseases. No, seriously, I probably need to buy a new box of condoms, today is my lucky day after all.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? I am going to Florida to visit my Daddy

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do? I'm going to Disney World! Hahahaha.

11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…? Champagne, this slut likes her bubbly.


12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? I am going to see my mom before she got sick and spend the day talking to her about her hopes and dreams.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Everyone has to do one nice thing for someone at least once a week.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise? It is a show where I interview celebrities I want to sleep with and I spend the half hour trying to get them in bed.

15.What is your favorite curse word? Fuck!

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Oh God, please don't let me dream about this tonight!!!!  I would high tail it out of there as fast as my little sore knees would take me.

17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item? I would grab my laptop. It has all my pictures on it.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour? Hopefully he is hot because I am looking for the best sex I ever had before I die.

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be? I would have the stamina of an athlete, after being sick for two weeks I am so damn weak and tired.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? I want to see my son being born. I was unconscience and feel like it is something I missed out on.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Anything having to do with my grandfather.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now? Oh damn, I am staying right here. I have at least 15 minutes of fame coming to me.

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be? TGIF

24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out…I can FLOAT!”? I would head to my sisters, I haven't seen her in months and she would think it was funny as hell to watch me float away.

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life? I am going to talk to bring back Britney Murphy. Maybe if I can feed her a sandwich and get her away from her bizarre husband she would have a fabulous musical career to go along with her acting career.

26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? I am bringing back my Mommy! I need her!

27. What’s your theme song? Ummm....ummm...the song from Gimme a Break!
Gimme a Break - Theme Song