The Available Parent Radical Optimism for Raising Teens and Tweens + A Tip From Dr. John Duffy

What I Can Tell You:

While I didn't always agree with Dr. Duffy, as I am 50% "helicopter parent". Two years ago I was 100% but I am dealing with kids 6 and 8 years old. I am getting better at giving them space as they get older and prove themselves. I also micro-manage at this time, mostly conversations, helping them use good manners however I don't believe I will do this as they get older. In my mind, how will they know how to be effective listeners, use good manners and good judgment, if they are not being told how to?

If I remove myself out of the veil of mommy to elementary aged kids, I think this is the perfect book to aid parents of tweens and teens. I love how Dr. Duffy looks at and sees things! These kids are not lying. They are saying exactly what they need from their parents and thankfully there is a book out there telling us how to interpret what they need and how we can adjust ourselves to be the best parent for our kids and especially our future relationship with them.

I know exactly who needs this book and I am so happy to be able to tell her about it. 

Daddy's 72nd!

Today is my Dad's 72 birthday. We called him to wish him a happy birthday and the kids sang happy birthday which made him laugh and cry at the same time. My dad is not perfect but he did the best HE could and I love him to pieces. There are so many amazing dads out there and I happen to be married to one of them.

I love the idea of a day of celebrating Dads. There are so many wonderful father's out there and they DO need to be celebrated. Who doesn't love a Dad who really embodies everything we wish for in a father for our children.

Someone fun, happy, eager to teach yet sensitive and patient.

Someone who can play soccer yet enjoy a cup of pretend tea with a table full of bears.

Someone strong and loving.

Someone we can look up to and know will protect and take care of us no matter what.

While I love all the momprenuers I know out there, I know there are a ton of amazing dads and I want to honor them with a Maria's Space Giveaway hosted by little old me.

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Tuesday Takes - My Kids Love Summer Weather

We spent 80% of the weekend on the deck. It was hot but we had the radio, the laptops and water guns, "jumpy thing", sand table and bikes for the kids.

I seriously don't want them to return to school. Loved having my whole family home for three days.

Ruby Tuesday - A Child's Love

Ruby Tuesday

This is the container that housed my Mother's Day plant from Goddess. It was made in school and it took cute to be thrown away. She loves to draw and this shelf with my Willow Tree Collection is the perfect place for it to sit. Our hair is always made the same way which reminds me of a 1970s logo or something.

My Kids Are True Animal Lovers And Adore The Endangerbles

If your kids are like mine, they are growing up to love and appreciate all living things. The Endangerbles are the perfect addition to this lesson.

Handsome loves listening to music when he goes to sleep. It is something he has been doing since before he took his first breath (I was a headphone on the belly mom). This past week he has replaced his Baby Einstein with The Endangerbles CD. We all sing it now as Mom and Dad dance out of his room after saying goodnight.

Blind In One Eye by David R. Ford

What I Can Tell You:
Imagine growing up as an only child with loving adoptive parents knowing you have a brother out there with your birth family but then finding out that you don't just have a brother, you have 5 other siblings too! David calls them "the keepers" and "the throwaways". His birth parents put him up for adoption along with three girls before him then went on to have more babies that they kept.

It's a complicated story, one that David tells with a candid approach encased in realism and humor. It reads like an letter between friends. I felt like David is a wonderful person who is sharing his very complicated story because he wants to advocate for open adoption. He spent 40 years of his life searching for a family he knew was out there and then to hear that his eldest sister had been looking for him for years and had a semi relationship with the birth mother who comes off as a scared woman of the 40's. As a mother, reading the story of these "throwaways" and wondering how a mother could continue to have babies and give them up could if written by a different person, may have made me angry. However, David has such a way of telling the story, that I don't feel anger toward his birth mother. I feel pity, sadness and shame. If it were a different time maybe things would have been different. I am so happy that David has a family that he is getting to know and love.

Enjoyable, good read even if you have never experienced adoption. David is truly a wonderful story teller and I love his relationship with his wife. Kudos to him for putting this all down on paper for other adoptees to have a reference on how removing the veil of secrecy with adoptions can heal, soothe, and foster relationships that wouldn't have had a chance to flourish without knowledge and communication.


Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from FordWords Publishing for my honest opinion.

If They Are Going To Eat Candy Anyway.......

I am one of those moms, you know the one. It takes us 4+ months to eat what they get for Halloween and Easter with some disappearing into the trash almost daily. I allow a piece a day. There is no reason for all that stuff to be eaten until you are sick. My sister and I talk about this all the time, when we were kids, there was never a Sweet Police demanding we make the pick a good one because it would be your only for the day. We were allowed to eat until we were sick which is why I think we now eat until we are sick. Hopefully, by allowing our children to partake but with limits, we are setting them up to live a life of enjoying sweets without going overboard.  When my kids are allowed candy outside of the Halloween stuff, the selection is mostly things without teeth sticking taffy type things. I believe chocolate to be the best candy but my kids love to experiment. Last week they got the opportunity to experiment for a candy review and my kids were beyond thrilled.

Kids: "This came in the mail and we GET to eat it for you?"
Me: "Yup, go ahead. try each one!"
Kids: "WHAT? REALLY? OK!"

Surf Sweets Natural and Organic Candy was a big hit with the kids and me. We know kids and adults alike, love candy and now you can eat all those wonderfully, fruity gummies, jellies and sours without all the sugar.

My personal favorite was the gummy bears and worms while my kids loved the jelly beans and my niece the sour worms.

You can totally taste the difference. They are made only with ingredients found in nature.

Chicken Soup for The Soul-My Cat's Soul And My Cat Sandy

I am a huge cat lover and would get my kids a kitten each if there was no litter box involved or litter and food to buy never mind the vet visits. It just isn't feasible right now for us. I couldn't be the owner I would want to be. With all that said, there will be a time when I will present them with a pet and I think a two kittens in a basket would be the best gift ever.

If you are a cat lover this is the perfect book for you. My cat Sandi was put to sleep after 16 years when I was pregnant with Handsome. It was one of the hardest decisions ever. Feeling him move inside me while I held her for her final breath was excruciating and something I will never forget.  I had my mother for 12 years and my cat for 16. She was my very first FAMILY outside of the obvious. I loved the stories in this book and have re-read some as I have been thinking about Sandi a lot lately.

Alphabe-Thursday - F- FUN

My Goddess has been asking for a hula hoop forever. This year she got one for her birthday and was thrilled for about a day. It now hangs in her bedroom but for one day, it was part of "the best day ever".

Tuesday Takes - Love Notes From My Daughter

Sending Goddess to full time kindergarten was so hard. She is my little buddy and I loved our afternoons together. I know she has to leave the nest sometimes but it was heartbreaking. What I love the most about her going to school is how excited she gets on art days or when she was the helper of the day. I love hearing "it was the best day ever" when I pick her up and I love the love notes she gives us.

Prospective Perspective - Outdoors

What's Up There?

This weekend my husband was preparing the deck for the gazebo when he spotted  nesting visitor. Being a good dad, he called Goddess outside to see it. He picked her up and together they discussed the bird and wondered if the nest had eggs. Goddess being the sharer she is, ran inside to get her brother and together they took turns with the binoculars, trying to get a better view.  So cute. I love when they are nice to each other.

Big Mommas Like Father, Like Son on Blu-ray Combo Pack June 14th

What I Can Tell You: I have seen all the Big Momma Movies and still crack up when I see Martin Lawrence as Momma/Malcolm. Come on, too funny.  Lawrence and Jackson are funny together. My favorite scenes were any that Jackson had to act like a chick with hot dorm girls walking around in towels. Classic comedy at its best. A dude in drag, done a hundred times, but still funny. Oh, and I have got to mention Momma does nude modeling. Hahahaha...hysterical. 

Although I missed Nia Long, as Malcolm's girlfriend I thought as far as a third attempt goes, this was funny.

This is obviously not an Oscar worthy movie, but, if what you are looking for is a good time, a few laughs at hidden identity and some physical comedy, this is a good choice.

The Arrivals by Meg Mitchell Moore - Review

What I Can Tell You: I loved it! The dialogue is very real. The problems very common. The question is simple, what does happen when your grown children return home? Ginny and William seemed very real! They are the parents we all wish we had. I couldn't imagine being able to run home to mommy and daddy as a mom of two at this point.

What the author does is weave a beautiful story where you understand all characters situations and are on their side.

Lillian showing up with her two very young children and not telling them what is happening in her life or why she is there. We feel bad and understand her need to get away and appreciate her parents letting her stay no questions asked but as the reader we know the truth of her problem and still feel bad that her parents have to allow her to stay.  The author does an amazing job of creating empathy, even for the "villains" of this book.


I got a few lessons from this book:

• Once a parents, always a parent no matter how old your children are.
• Enjoy life because things will  never be as simple and easy as they were when you were young, living in your parents house. You cannot recapture that time once you have responsibilities of your own life.
• Just one ripple in a family, affects the lives of many. Imagine if you triple that ripple. Ahahaha...ok..just cracked myself up.  Anyway...really good read.

Friday Fragments Of Life - A Quick Catch Up

So much happening I don't even know where to start.

Organizing time to handle everything that needs to be done while still maintaining a life is hard but if you force yourself to map out time it can be done.  Shutting the computer off is highly recommended. If it is on you tell yourself, ahhh one moment, but you can get sucked in easily, so shut it down.

Signed Handsome up for Cub Scouts or whatever they are called for his age group. Handed over 72 bucks and know absolutely nothing. The whole sign up seemed very unorganized. When he asked if he was a Cub Scout, I told him I had no idea.

Loads of negative energy on my street. A once peaceful area now brims with conspiracy and a suicide. Nothing in the news over a week later and everyone wonders why.

Reading as much as I can about small business. No time for fun books. Need to educate myself on how to run my business. Buzz Chic is doing well on Twitter but my blog and Facebook are sad. Trying to spend some time getting those numbers up.

My new favorite show is Son's of Anarchy. So good! Like Soprano's on bikes.

Love listening to my Goddess sing, sweet and she really has so much emotion behind it. My favorite part is how she doesn't always know the words. Like Taylor Swifts, Love Story. "I talk to your groundhog, pick out a license, it's a love story, baby just say yes." Love it

Voted on the library budget yesterday. We have an awesome library. Wish more people came out to vote.

Didn't sign a petition yesterday, it was talking about putting a fence up in the playground. Our playground is already small. The reason it was started was because a mom feels that a preschooler will get hit by the kids on the swings, or has been hit by kids on the swings. What happened to watching your kids at the park? Make sure they don't run in front of the swings. Watch your kids! I have been drilling into my kids heads since they were old enough to walk at the park, "watch the swings! watch the swings". They walk all the way around them, and tell other kids to watch the swings. It has been done forever by moms. Maybe we all need to put down the cell phones and pay attention when our kids are at the park. Just saying!

This Way ThursWay #102 - Doing Da Hula

 

Ok, so while she tried really hard, she was unable to keep that hoop up very long. She keeps trying thoug

Alphabe-Thursday - E - Excited to Be Eight

E = Excited to Be Eight

Excited to be Eight

My son's excitement is all over his face. They had just sung happy birthday to him and they were all clapping at the end. For a kid who never likes to draw attention to himself, he really enjoyed being center stage for the day.

Oh baby boy, I love you soooo much.

Tuesday Takes and Ruby Tuesday - The Birthday Party

We had Handsome's birthday party at McDonalds this past weekend and man did this kid have a good time.

All the kids were climbing up onto this tree and Handsome really wanted to. It would be something I would usually stop by saying, "I don't care what those other kids are doing. That tree is not meant to be climbed on." However, watching him watch them told me it was something he had to do, like a right of passage. So forgetting the Do Not Climb Sign, I didn't say anything as I watched him struggle for 30 mins taking various attempts at getting up there. When he finally did, I grabbed the camera and took a few hundred photos.

You can see the determination, the jubilation and the underlying fear in these but he did it! Sometimes, you have to cut the ropes that bind their wings and let them fly under supervision on their own.

Quotography - Friendship

Blue Monday - The Birthday Cake

Handsome's birthday cake was delicious! Happy Blue Monday to everyone!

Do You See It?

Ok...picture this, Saturday afternoon. We just got home from my son's birthday party and my husband heads out to get the gifts out of the trunk! He comes back and says, "that's cool!" Opening the sliders he heads to the deck and calls me out. I head over and he says, "do you see it"? I say no and he tells me...

oh never mind I'm not going to tell you...let's see if you, dear reader can figure it out

...ready.....
.....do you see it?....

On my way to the location, I stop and take a picture of the street covered in pink....beautiful right!?

....oh yeah...want to know what it is?...



Look closely...I didn't want to get too close....but if you look hard enough you will see....

It's a newborn fawn, so small, about the size of a small cat. We saw the momma a few hours earlier but thought she was just standing there, though she seemed very nervous. She must have just given birth. We stayed cleared from the baby because we are sure mom wasn't too far away and was waiting for the cover of night to move it.

Hopefully the baby has been moved, nature has a way of taking care of itself. We haven't check to see if the baby is there because mostly I wouldn't want to know if it wasn't doing well.

So cool!

Mellow Yellow Monday - At Mickey D's

We had my son's birthday party at McDonalds this past Saturday. The kids had a blast and the moms weren't too crazed because of the containment of the area. McDonalds (if they have a party area near you) is a great place to have an affordable birthday party.

Oddly enough, I don't have any photos of my son near anything yellow but you can see tons of yellow around my daughter as she stuffs her mouth before running out to play again.

Disney's Lemonade Mouth on DVD hits Stores May 24th

What I Can Tell You: This is exactly the direction Disney should be going right now. I love the friendship, be strong, be proud, stand up for what you believe in theme. 

The movie starts out with Stella, a new girl who is angry about moving and starting a new school a month into the semester.  She finds herself in detention where she meets four other freshman students. They seem to have nothing in common until, they start putting together a beat, each one bringing something different to the sound. Before you know it, they are a band.

With the help of a Lemonade Machine, a spirited music teacher played by Trisha Campbell Martin, and Stella with a penchant for being heard, the group play in front of their peers and are actually really good.

I loved the building of the friendships between the kids and how their problems seemed very real and not contrived. There is someone everyone can relate to; whether you are the ignored kid, the quiet kid, the overachiever, you will find someone who resonates with you.

Another surprised was that the songs were actually good! I didn't feel silly watching this and kids will undoubtedly appreciate the music. Catchy without the over saccharin of most kid friendly musicals.

This was a great movie that I highly recommend. Looking for some new tunes for your MP3?  Get the entire soundtrack for Lemonade Mouth or if you prefer to read the book, Lemonade Mouth: Adapted Movie Tie-In Edition

Based on the book Lemonade Mouth by Mark Peter Hughes and directed by award-winning Patricia Riggen (La Misma Luna aka Under the Same Moon), executive-produced by Debra Martin Chase (The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Disney Channel’s “The Cheetah Girls” movies), co-produced by Gaylyn Fraiche (Just Wright, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2) and choreographed by Chris Scott (TV’s “So You Think You Can Dance”).

Scavenger Hunt Sunday

Give Me Flowers

While on a butterfly field trip with my daughter's kindergarten class, I spotted these still wet with dew.

My Daughter giving me one of her many floral gifts while out and about.

Visual Contrast

My so big 8 year old on a mega slide. He is almost my height, but on the carnival slide he looked so tiny.

This is by far one of my favorite photos and the one that came immediately to mind when I saw the them. My husband and my son walking up the stairs 5 years ago. I love the difference in their height and the prospective makes him looks so much smaller.

Friendship

Yesterday we had Handsome's 8th birthday party at McDonalds and I grabbed a few kids before they left for a photo op. 1st Grade is such a great time. It was fun seeing how they all act together.

This Way ThursWay #102 - Spring Walk

I headed out with camera in tow to grab some photos for the various memes I participate in. It was gorgeous out today, pollen aside!

The lake looked amazing and the trees are still holding a few flowers.

I saw some broken glass next to a magnolia tree and wanted to get a reflection through the broken pieces but I couldn't control the camera. There must be a way but the reflection and zoom was just too complicated so I gave up. If anyone has an idea on how to do something like this, please let me know.

Alphabe-Thursday - D = Daughter & Ducks

Our Duck friends didn't come back yesterday. We hope all is well and maybe they were busy with babies. Lately we have seen so many babies! Goddess was calling them and requesting we throw bread or crackers and maybe they would show up. It was the first day in a week we haven't had them visit but I have tons of photos from their last few trips which make a perfect theme for this weeks Alphabe-Thursday.

D = Daughter and Ducks

This week's ABC Wednesday Q.

Q=Quiet
Sneaking up on unsuspecting ducks is really an art. Thank goodness our Goddess is tiny enough to hide behind a rock.

Q=Quack
While you can't hear it by looking at a photo, rest assured these ducks were quite vocal as Goddess came out for a closer look. We love our daily visitors and hope they will bring their ducklings for a swim soon.

Q=Quick
Then I had to quickly snap a photo of Goddess snapping the duck photo with her DSi.

Look closely, do you see the female?

Ruby Tuesday - Go Carts With Daddy

Two weeks ago, Goddess and The Hub spent some time in a Go Cart at a Birthday party. It was so cute to watch them give dirty faces to anyone who tried to cut them off!

See Mommy over there?

Oh yeah, I see her! Hey mom!

Goddess gives the dirty face

Perceptive Perspective - High Contrast

While I am not a big fan of high contrast photography, there is a place for this kind of photography. High Contrast is a way to grab the viewers attention by making an object really stand out.

I chose this photo because of the details of the silhouette

Blue Monday - Go Carts Are Serious Business

Handsome had his first chance to drive a Go Cart two weekends ago at a birthday bash for our dear friend Jewel. His face shows just how serious he was taking this race too!

I was concerned for him because he had never done it before but atlas my concerns were unwarranted (I think it is because I feel like I wouldn't be able to drive them). He did fine and as you can see, took things very seriously.

Self Portrait Sunday - Happy Mother's Day

Oh Mother's Day. I love everything about it. Being a mom is one of the most important parts of my life, everything else is icing. After losing mom when I was 12 I have always wanted to be one. To have a loving, fulfilling relationship with little ones so that if God forbid anything were to happen to me, they would never doubt my love. A Mother's Love is truly one of the best gifts. We love with our whole being. There is no love like the love your heart feels when you love a child.

I woke at 6:15 with Goddess joining me and talking as if I had been awake. Something she does every morning. She doesn't know how to whisper. Her volume is always way too high. Handsome and I had gone to a birthday party of one of his classmates yesterday, while we were out. Goddess and her father conspired and wrapped two gifts that I had no idea I was getting and hid them in her closet.

On Thursday and Friday, I knew that there were gifts because the kids came home from school with things but they were quickly hidden. I love surprises so I never asked to see them earlier and hoped that they would be OK to wait and they were.

Here is what I got this morning.
So surprised that they were able to keep those plants so well tended to. The Hub and Goddess work well together.

Goddess and I stopped for a moment to take a quick photo. Her "belly" hurts but she did muster up a face for us thank goodness.

Sorry for the cell phone picture but it is all I had time for. Busy learning and downloading to my new Kindle. Better photos coming.

This Mother's Day, I wish you all loads of love!

Color Carnival #89 - Oh Peach!

This week, my Color Carnival submission is my daughter's prized DS Game with her new and colorful Princess Peach cover. Look how fun this looks! You just want to pick it up.

Waiting For Forever Came Out On DVD and Blu-ray This Week

What I Can Tell You: 

This movie reminded me of Benny and Joon starring Johnny Depp. The character of Will played by Tom Sturridge is just adorable. There is something sweet, innocent and genuine that shines through in his smile. 

There is a train accident. Will's parents die. He leaves his home town with his brother to live with relatives but never forgets his best friend Emma who helped him by telling him his parents will always be with him. Fast Forward maybe 10 years and Will is headed back home when he hears that Emma's father is dying  to finally tell her that he loves her. He has been in love with her forever and follows her around just to catch a glimpse.

While Emma's complicated life gets in the way of her happiness, Will shows her the simple pleasures of the past. Before they can live happily ever after, a turn of events and a jealous boyfriend has Will arrested and charged with murder. His innocence is tested but love always finds a way. 

I loved this movie and was shocked that I had not heard of it. It may not be award worthy but this different twist on young love is sweet and introduced me to Tom Sturridge. You can't go wrong with friendship movies and young love.

You Capture - Blossoms

Spring is in the air! God, how I love this weather!

Colorful Carnival - Beads

I haven't been able to participate in Color Carnival in a few weeks. Things have been crazzzzy in my life. So much going on with my newest venture which we will discuss soon. This week my Color Carnival submission is Pixos. My daughter got a hand-me-down Pixos machine and these colorful beads have been all over my house. I am finding them everywhere but she does love it so I will keep picking them up with a smile on my face.

Alphabe-Thursday - C

Communion - I took photos for a friend whose daughter was receiving communion. They came out great! This is one of my favorites.

Classmates - While attending my son's classroom for a poetry reading, my son and a classmate posed for me.

Cupcakes - My niece created these for my daughter's 6th birthday.