We were invited to an Easter Egg Hunt this year. Mina is Finnish and really knows how to do a party. She is big on gatherings and has a huge heart who enjoys being a hostess.
Thankfully this was the perfect day for this hunt because the kids and I were in town for the Police Departments annual Easter Egg Hunt but had to leave just as it was starting.
Picture this....
We wait 40 minutes for it to start. The kids are finally at the start line with their baskets and friends waiting for the go ahead when I start getting severe stomach pains. After my situation with my digestive system last year, I start getting nervous. It came on suddenly and not at a slow progression either. I am in severe, pain and unsure if I can maintain consciousness. It hurts to even touch my stomach (like the last time). I am worried about passing out and start getting very hot. I am on the other side of the egg littered field with my camera poised on the children all waiting to run.
The kids are smiling, I start walking across the field and try to keep my breath even. I can't do it to them. Maybe I can wait it out. I walk back to the side of the field and feel like I am going to pass out. It is too noisy. I am too hot and my stomach is causing me debilitating pain. Will I pass out here in front of all these people? Will I throw up in front of all these people? Will I end up in an ambulance? All thoughts are spinning and I am barely able to stand.
I walk to the kids and swallow my heart. "Please come with me you guys. Mommy is really sick and we have to go. I am so, so sorry." Handsome takes my hand and says OK and Goddess starts to cry. My heart breaks and my stomach hurts. "I know honey, I am really sorry. I don't even know if I can make it to the car. Please don't cry. Please Honey! I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to". We start walking to the car and I have to stop for a moment. The pain is terrible. I turn to Handsome and ask if he knows what to do if something happens. He says yes, he will call Daddy on the cell and get help.
Goddess is crying in the backseat and I am unsure if I can pull away. I just want to get the car out of the parking lot away from all my fellow townspeople. I don't want to get sick in front of all these people and kids.
We drive very slowly out of the parking lot with Goddess crying quietly and my severe pain.
I pull over two times and finally stay. I beg her to please stop and again tell her how sorry I am. Feeling ill I open the door and throw up something the size of a quarter. It is nothing but I am suddenly better and back to normal.
We sit for two more minutes while I gather my thoughts. We drive home with Goddess still crying. My heart breaks for her. I can only imagine what that felt like for her. She is dressed up, Easter basket in hand at the front of the line. The eggs are right there and she has to leave. My poor baby. I couldn't wait to get home so I could hug her.
We pull into the driveway and Handsome gets out. He is fine. I ask Goddess to climb into the front seat with me. She does and I hold her. She cries and I play with her hair apologizing more. (I always over apologize). Teach comes out and takes her from me through the open car window. She cries on his shoulder as I explain it to him. He doesn't understand crying and tells her it is OK because we have another hunt to go to.
She is crying on the couch when I get inside. We hug and I ask her to what she wants to do until the next hunt. We play board games and laugh. She is OK. I knew she would be but it still hurt.
What was it? Who knows. It has only happened one time before (3 months ago). Going back to the Gastro DX next month (1st appointment I could get).
We finally make it to the second Easter Egg Hunt.
The kids have a blast. They ate, grabbed eggs, ate, watched Minna play piano while her daughter sang, jumped on a trampoline and played ball. They had a great time and my guilt eventually went away.
Ahhh...being a parent is hard and I know I am hard on myself but I can't help it. I want them to be happy.
these are some great photos
ReplyDeleteOh, man...that must have been so hard. I am glad it passed, and hope it was just a blip, an anomaly. Glad you're feeling better now, though!
ReplyDeleteThey handled that disappointment well--that's a testament to your good parenting! I hope you don't have anymore episodes!
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