We all have our stories to tell. Not a single of us can say that we haven't encountered drama in our lives of some kind. Some of us have the ability to move past the obstacles that are forever tossed in our path by life. Some need to sit on the sideline and nurse their soreness and lick their wounds before they can stand up again and still others are never ever to get up and simply take themselves out of this beautiful gift called life. Usually I fall into the category of moving past as confirmed by my dear friend Teresa today who said, "even with all you go through, you are always laughing, smiling and friendly. If you didn't tell me, I would have no idea things are as crazy as they are for you."
I guess that is true. Usually! Today, not so much. It was a difficult morning, I am fine now mostly because I am rational enough to know that every time I get kicked, I DO pick myself up. I cannot control the things happening right now, financially or medically. These things are completely out of my hands. What I can control is how long I allow myself to dwell on them and how I decide to handle myself!!! Really folks, that is all we can truly do. Handle ourselves. We can handle our words. We can handle how we react to things. Other than that, it is out of our hands most of the time.
The circumstances surrounding my life that are getting me down are financial and medical. My situation is not unlike many others out there. The poor are getting poorer and the middle class, well, they are the future poor! Life is hard and things seem to be getting harder every day.
Today, SUCKED! In plain english...it fucking sucked! Seriously. I think after today, I am allowed to curse on my blog.
An hour in the bank parking lot crying. A doctor's appointment to make sure I am not pregnant (my period is a month late! BTW I am not!!! And...more colorful envelopes of bills! Hooray!
My gynocologist took blood today after confirming my pregnancy test as negative to check for hormonal imbalance and a thyroid check which was due next month anyway. She also gave me Provera to "kick start" menstruation. Sonogram in future. Really pisses me off to now have medical issues on a completely different part of my body. 2010 - 2011 was intestine issues. 2011 - 2012 stomach issues and now this!
Prayer and good vibes needed for strength. Pray for me and I will pray for you.
How is your year going? I pray it is better than mine!
I always "try" to look on the bright side and I guess the bright side here would be that you are not pregnant, right? I am 32 and my baby is due in less than three weeks and I feel waaay too damn old for this pregnancy crap lol, so at least you don't have to deal with that stuff, but I'm sorry for the things you are dealing with. You have had it rough for sure! I'm sending those vibes and prayers you requested your way! I wish I had extra money and a fabulous doctor to send your way too.
ReplyDeleteAhh, Maria. I am so sorry. The one good thing about things like this is that when it's all piled on top of you at once you can feel like crap for a bit and then it's over. I know it's a long road, but when you're down, you can only look up. It really will get better. Until then, I am thinking of you. <3
ReplyDelete