Rain Makes Me Miss You

Just got back from the bus stop after spending 15 minutes with the kids with nothing to do but talk. The morning is so rushed but we are usually 15 minutes early for everything. I hate being late!

There is something about those precious minutes with them running around even in the rain. They come over to hug me, tell me about things that are often times forgotten in the mad rush of our fleeting moments together like little windows of opportunity that open and are often shut because of a draft which in our case, the rush of life and our responsibilities.

Pick them up. Get them home, give them snack, homework for an hour or more, dinner, shower, and bed, or Brownies, Merchant Meeting (I am the secretary), community meeting, chores, etc. There is so much to do and very little time to do it but during these 15 minutes, we regroup and I get to really see them for the first time after the craziness of the morning. It is in those minutes, I long for the early years. 2003 - 2006 when it seemed crazy, chaotic, mad, and lonely because I only had time for them because they were both under 3 and eventually under 4. We didn't have full time school. We had each other. The day was spent with them. Enjoying everything about them. Just holding them all day or all morning and even than knowing how fast it was going to go because life is quick.

On these rainy mornings, I wish they were babies again and I could hold them and talk to them all day. Now the morning is spent rushing with dressing, breakfast, preparing lunches, snacks, backpacks, schedules for the day, what shoes do you need? Mommy said, move we have to go in 20 minutes. Get dressed. Brush your teeth, get a brush, move it, move it, move it! I know I don't have to leave 20 minutes early to make it to the bus stop but, in those last few minutes, it calms down and all we have to do is wait on the bus. It is during this time, that I look at them I realize how much I miss them and they are with me.

So, the moral of this story is, don't rush life. Rush so you will have more time with your life. In my case, I am most alive when I am with my kids. When do you feel most alive?