A Typical Conversation With My 9 Year Old

Did you punch Matt?
No...I hit him. I didn't punch him.
I am trying to help you honey!
I know. I know you are. You are doing the right thing.
So why would u hit him?
I didn't! I didn't do that.
You said you did. Did you do it on accident.
No! I did it on purpose.
Why? You know that is wrong. It is wrong to hit people.
No! You are saying I am wrong. and you are not being correct. I said I did. You don't even understand.
No honey, I said it is wrong to hit someone.
I did do it on purpose. Why do you keep saying I am wrong.
No! Honey. I am saying it is NOT OK to hit someone. You know that right.
Yes!
So, you know it is WRONG to HIT someone.
You are not correct. You lie.
I lie?
You keep saying I am wrong but I am right. I hit him on purpose.
Why?
Because! He had his arms on the table.
That is not your business.
I know.
So. You are not the teacher. You are not an adult. You don't tell someone that it is not right. You mind your business.
I didn't say that. I didn't say I am a teacher. You are lying.
No. I didn't say you said you were a teacher. I said it is none of your business to decide of someone is hogging up a desk.
I know.
Look honey, I am just trying to help you. Do you understand that?
I know. I know you are. You are doing the right thing.
How can I help you?
I don't know
What do I do with this? How do I make it better?
You change it!
How do I change it?
You throw it away and make a new one.