Gift-giving is a universal way we show love, gratitude, and care. Whether it’s for a holiday, a birthday, or “just because,” the act of giving a gift can be as joyful as receiving one. Children, of course, adore the excitement of opening presents. But learning to give and to embrace generosity is an essential skill of early childhood development that helps children grow into thoughtful, compassionate adults.
Let’s explore the fascinating science behind generosity, the best ways for children to learn this vital value, and some fun, meaningful ways to practice giving as a family.
When Should Children Learn About Generosity?
While it’s never too early to introduce kindness and sharing to children, it’s important to keep their developmental stage in mind.
- Under 2 Years Old: At this age, children are naturally self-focused and aren’t able to understand the concept of giving. That’s perfectly normal at this stage of their childhood development!
- Ages 4-5: By preschool, most children begin to grasp generosity and empathy. This is the sweet spot for teaching them how to give and why it’s meaningful.
You can start small—modeling generosity through your own actions or having simple conversations about kindness. Over time, these lessons will stick and blossom into lifelong habits.
The Science of Giving
You’ve probably heard the saying, “It’s better to give than to receive.” Well, science agrees! Studies show that giving doesn’t just make others happy—it can rewire our brains to make us happier, too. This finding has interesting applications to understanding early childhood development.
The Good Feelings of Generosity…
In one study, researchers asked participants to spend money on themselves or on others. Brain scans showed that people who spent money on others had more activity in the areas of the brain linked to generosity and pleasure. These same participants also reported feeling happier after the experiment.
The takeaway? Generosity creates a powerful cycle of happiness: the more you give, the better you feel—and the more likely you are to keep giving.
… and When Giving Feels Hard
Of course, not all giving feels good. Anxiety and stress about finding the “perfect” gift can sometimes overshadow the joy of giving. Sound familiar?
Dr. Scott Rick, a behavioral researcher, suggests reframing your idea of what makes a good gift. “A good gift involves some sacrifice—money, time, or both. It shows that you understand the person and can surprise them.”
For children, this might mean helping them focus less on the price tag and more on the thoughtfulness of their gift. Teaching them that it’s the effort and love behind the gift that counts can take the pressure off and make giving fun again.
How Children Can Practice Giving
When most of us think about generosity, we picture gifts that cost money. But giving can take many forms! Here are three simple ways your child can express generosity:
1. Give Their Time
Time is one of the most valuable gifts anyone can give. For example, encourage your child to:
- Help an elderly neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow, with your supervision or assistance.
- Spend extra time with a friend or family member who needs company.
2. Share Their Talents
Every child has unique talents they can share.
- An artistic child might make handmade cards for patients at a hospital.
- A budding musician could play a mini-concert for residents at a nearby nursing home.
- Even baking cookies together and sharing them with neighbors can teach the joy of using talents to spread happiness.
3. Give Thoughtfully
Material gifts are still a meaningful way to give. Instead of defaulting to items they no longer use, help your child think about how they can give with intention.
- Donate gently used toys to foster children or families in need.
- Use their allowance to buy food for a family experiencing food insecurity.
- Choose a cause they care about, like animal shelters or environmental groups, and contribute to it as a family.
Let Your Child Lead the Way
One of the most effective ways to teach generosity is to let your child choose how and where they want to give. When we encourage children to give items away that they would rather keep for themselves, they are likely to associate generosity with loss. Instead, involve children in the decision-making process. Here are some ideas to help them decide:
- Do they love animals? Ask them if they would like to visit a local shelter, and get them excited about volunteering one day when they’re old enough.
- Do they enjoy being outdoors? Participate in a park cleanup day or plant a tree.
- Do they hate getting cold? Ask them if they’d be kind enough to donate their old coats or help distribute them through a local charity.
The closer their giving aligns with their personal interests, the more they’ll enjoy—and remember—the experience.
Be a Role Model of Generosity
You’ll notice that in our blogs we often emphasize the importance of parents modeling the values they want their children to learn. Generosity is no exception! Here are some ways you can show your child what it means to be generous:
1. Share Your Own Stories: Talk about times when someone’s generosity touched you, or share why you’ve chosen to give back.
2. Get Your Child Involved: Include them in your own acts of giving. For example, bring them along when donating to a food drive or buying a gift for a loved one.
3. Celebrate Their Generosity: When your child gives, make sure they see how proud and happy you are. Your enthusiasm will reinforce the positive feelings associated with giving.
Turn Gift-Giving Into a Learning Moment
Sometimes, teaching generosity comes with its own challenges—like navigating a shopping trip where your child suddenly wants everything for themselves. Here are some tips to keep the focus on giving:
- Before heading to the store, remind them of your purpose: to find something special for someone else.
- Help them brainstorm what the recipient might like and why.
- After the gift is given, talk about how they think the recipient felt and how it made them feel to give.
By involving your child in the process, you’re helping them see giving as a joyful and thoughtful act.
Giving isn’t just about gifts wrapped in paper and bows. It’s about time, kindness, and love—and it’s a value that children carry with them for life. As parents, you have the incredible opportunity to teach your child that generosity isn’t about how much you give, but about the heart behind it. Whether it’s helping a neighbor, sharing their talents, or donating to a cause they care about, you’re showing them that even small acts of kindness can make a big impact.
